Friday, January 06, 2006

A Modest Proposal About PBS: Sell It To Apple!

Ever read A Modest Proposal by Gulliver's Travels writer Jonathan Swift?

This is a satarical essay involving a way to deal with the homeless child epidemic that plagued Ireland in the early 1700's.

The opening tagline goes like this:

A Modest Proposal For Preventing The Children of Poor People in Ireland From Being Aburden to Their Parents or Country, and For Making Them Beneficial to The Public

* Writer Jonathan Swift

The "editorial" suggests that the wealthy consider gathering the children together and EATING them. Thus, solving two problems in one act ... hunger and poverty.

Here is a link to the story if you wish to read it online.


In case you haven't noticed, PBS - the United States' Public Broadcast System nationwide television channel has become just about the worst collection of trash as far as tv programming goes. It also has lost focus ... with many classic shows (even Sesame Street) turning into political statements for the far left in the US.

* Many people have drawn conclusions that Oscar The Grouch is actually a Republican satire (green=money / grouchy = always telling people they are doing the wrong thing) The satire is ... it is implied since he lives in a garbage can, he is poor ... most lower income voters are democratic or liberal. Sesame Street has also made controversial moves like including muppets with HIV and using guest stars like Snoop Dog

Further, this government susbsidized channel is now so costly that you can hardly go a night or watch anything of interest anymore without it being interupted by two people who "need your money to continue to show programming like you are watching now"

I find most all of the programming like cooking shows, science shows, news, and specials ... redundant of programming on The Discovery Channel, History Channel, The Food Network, and National Network Programming (NBC, CBS, ABC, FOX).

Some government officials have proposed cutting funding for PBS - as a means to cut spending.

I have a proposal! Sell PBS to Apple Computer! Even get Apple to license it on a yearly basis!

Apple and Education together again!

Think about this for a moment ... Apple could pull together all of the cable TV channels and start to broadcast TV ... in the same way as it is now, but also make money by paid download from the iTunes Music Store.

Apple could also stream programming the day of. Have available for download two days after, charge for archives after that.

Apple could stream PBS to schools and integrate it into PowerSchool ... helping to further leverage Apple laptops and desktops to school districts.

I see this generating a HUGE revenue windfall, for Apple and for the American public.

I would also propose that PBS be changed into a national cable channel conglomerate affiliate. Almost like a channel for channels.

Cable TV networks should love this idea ... they could advertise by having a show on ApplePBS. This would be like saying, "The full season of this show can be seen on The Discovery Channel, call your local cable operator for details". This proposal may also help pave the way for a la carte cable channels.

That's a lot of big words, let me explain:

How some favorite PBS shows would be on the Apple PBS:

Motor Trend - the weekly televison version of the car magazine - would be handled each week by The Speed Channel

Scientific American Frontiers and Nova - would be handled by The Science Channel and Discovery Channel

Newshour Nightly Business Report would instead become a feed for CNN / CNBC / FOXNEWS

This Old House would be handled by The Learning Channel (and maybe they would show Trading Spaces too)

Cooking shows would be handled by The Food Network ... I'd much rather see Rachel Ray than the cooks on PBS!

Large documentaries (like The Civil War series) would be handled by The History Channel.

The biggest impact such a venture would provide is an immense amount of advertising and creative outlet for Apple Computer. Think ... a whole channel that advertised Apple and was sponsored by Apple.

On top of all this there could even be Podcast shows ... letting individuals (taxpayers) actually have a channel that was their (nationwide) channel. Apple could occasionally feature Podcasts of interests for everyone to see.


Anonymous said...

PBS a far leftist network? I assume this silly attribution is part of the bad joke, but perhaps not. Anyone who also thinks Rachel Ray is a better culinary source than PBS stalwarts like Jaques Pepin and Rick Bayless is probably getting his munchies from some rather potent weed.

Anonymous said...

Oh my heavens. Even after reading the introduction to this post, I did not get the satire until a few minutes after clicking away from it in disgust. Thank you for giving me fair warning -- I would have walked around fuming about this all day long! :)
- popemark